- Strip Club
- GUM Clinic
- Abortion Clinic
- Abattoir
- Germany
Category: top 5
- Everything is a race.
- Indicating is a flamboyant and unnecessary bit of showing off. It is much more manly when using a roundabout to take the third exit as a surprise to all other motorists.
- A horn is to be used by way of compensation for a lack of driving skill. The horn may also be used as a means of alerting everyone within half a mile that you have arrived outside your mate’s front door.
- While parallel parking do so leaving enough space at either end of the car for nothing larger than a smart car, while ensuring at all times that you take up a minimum of two spaces.
- When at a roundabout you MUST pull out if there is a car coming from the right in order to create the greatest potential for an accident to occur. Waiting up to two seconds for the road to clear makes you gay.
- Mamberry.
- Cockington.
- Shaggersden.
- Puffington-on-High.
- Little Buggering.
- In a Lift (it’s a classic).
- In a Sealed Shower Cubicle (as I just learnt).
- While Being Measured for a Suit (particularly around the waist).
- In a Space-suit (this might not apply to many people).
- In the 69 Position (potential mood killer).
- Healthy (No amount of caffeine and chocolate makes you feel as good as a healthy body.)
- Energy Levels (mine suffer especially during the winter.)
- Vanity (have you met me!?)
- Endorphins (your body has to compensate you somehow!)
- It’s Fun! (it really is!)
- Free Laundry (but not enough fabric softener)
- Free Food (it might not be good but it’s free!)
- Family (Yay!)
- Friends (Double Yay!)
- The Oak & Ivy (Favouritest Pub EVER!)
- Michael McIntyre. (pen lies)
- Eddie Izzard. (cross-dresser)
- Ross Noble. (spontaneous)
- Bill Baily. (musical)
- Ricky Gervais. (sarcastic)
Comments. Who would you put on your list?
- Toaster. (easy)
- Grill. (stressful)
- Flambé Torch. (fun but delivers poor results)
- Anger a Dragon. (stand well back)
- Make love to the Kings of Leon. (allow Michael to explain)
- Pain au Raisin. (With a Coffee.)
- Starbucks; Espresso Frap.; with Cream. (Venti, naturally.)
- Subway Sandwich; Hearty Italian with Chicken & Bacon, Toasted, with Cucumber and Honey & Mustard dressing. (Foot long.)
- Blonde Leffe Beer. (Large, corked bottle.)
- Thai Takeaway; Art of Siam Platter, with Blue Chili Duck and Rice. (Two different resteraunts gives you the best of both worlds!)
- The Kitchen Chair (at my old flat, every night in the dark without fail)
- Low Tables (my poor shins!)
- Door Frames (I do tend to miss-judge those buggers..)
- People (I bump into people a lot)
- Trouble (I don’t know how but I’m VERY good at it lol)
